Barge Simsson

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Barge Simsson is a very tall "lady" (6'7", including her hair) who made her debut in Vancouver, BC at the Early Bird Registration for Squeeze The Hive, the 2014 IAGSDC Convention. Barge ("as in LARGE AS A...") is rumored to be the half-sister of a much more famous animated television personality, but with a father of unknown identity.

Barge's true last name is still a topic of hot debate in certain HTQ circles. Some insist that it's "Bouvier", some say that her father is Asian, with a surname of "Jin-In" (Which would make her true name "Barge Jin-In"). At least one lawyer has been heard to sigh "Well, it's not spelled the same way as that television character."

Barge herself is uncertain of any of this, because, being the white sheep of the family, she was originally a blonde until a tragic hair coloring accident in 1989 when a color touch-up at a stylish salon in San Francisco was interrupted by the Loma Prieta earthquake, which spilled several anonymous chemicals into the hair dye being used. Barge is notoriiously bad at math, but swears that Former Blondes DO Have SOME fun.

It is also rumored that Barge may make a guest appearance at Weave Your Heart in San Francisco, the IAGSDC 2013 Convention. There is no truth to the ugly rumor that Barge is in contract negotiations with The Fabulous Cow Patty to co-hostess/emcee Squeeze The Hive in 2014.

Well, maybe a little truth. You'll just have to wait and see, won't you...?