Richard Kirby

From IAGSDC History
Jump to navigationJump to search

Richard Edward Kirby
25 Nov 1972 - 07 Mar 2021

Clubs & Associations

Oaktown 8's

Redwood Rainbows

Remembrances

No obituary was published. This is the text that appeared in the brochure at his memorial, 11 Sep 2021

Richard Edward Kirby passed away on March 07, 2021, after 8 days under hospice care, at his home in Petaluma, surrounded by his family and friends.

Richard was born in Saigon, Vietnam on November 25, 1972 to Joseph Francis Robert Kirby and Choi Thi Mai. His family (with the exception of his sister Nhi, who chose to remain in Vietnam), was evacuated to San Francisco in the Spring of 1975. Richard’s father died when Richard was 12, and his mother passed away the following year. Richard’s sister Ngoc took over caring for her younger siblings, and they subsequently lived in Baltimore and then San Jose. Richard helped to raise his niece Mai and his nephews Quan and Phi and they remained close to him his entire life.

Richard held a B.A. degree in Art, at one point had been an active ceramicist and was a very high level photographer, for most of his life. His artwork and photography are being projected on the stage now. Richard had great patience and an amazing eye for detail. Often I would see Richard taking a photograph, and I would wonder what he had possibly seen. Then, when he got home and brought up the photographs on the computer, and I finally saw what had drawn his eye and I understood. I always thought Richard was an artist, but he did not agree with that. As you look at his work being projected, I will let you decide. Richard had worked a variety of jobs, including assisting a friend at her photography studio, as a jack of all trades at a Cross Fit start up and later at a ceramics studio in San Leandro.

Richard was a fully certified motorcycle mechanic. Richard had a lovingly maintained red, 1979 Kawasaki, that was his pride and joy. He came to motorcycling later in his life, and unfortunately his health prevented him from getting his motorcycle endorsement.

Richard was a loyal, loving friend. He was by nature a shy man, and whenever he was in a social setting, he tended to seek out anyone alone, to make their acquaintance. Richard also had a wicked sense of humor, and was so joyful when he laughed.

Richard met Jim [Blaine] on OK Cupid. Despite the fact Richard lived in San Jose and Jim lived in San Leandro, and Jim was looking for someone in his immediate neighborhood, they emailed a bit and Richard wanted to meet, and had no issue driving all the way to San Leandro. On January 11, 2015 Richard met Jim at Anthony Chabot park and from that day on they were together as much as possible, until Jim was finally able to convince Richard to move in with him later that year.

Richard and Jim were married over the Memorial Day weekend in 2018 (05/27 to be exact) at Copper Creek Camp, just outside Greenville, as part of an amazing weekend, camping with family and friends, that transitioned from worry (about the cold, people being fed, etc.) to absolute joy, as our wonderful friends and family made sure everything was handled and we could all just enjoy being together and watch as the many lovely miracles of life unfolded.

Later that year, Richard and Jim were forced out of their home in San Leandro, and moved to Petaluma, to a lovely home Richard found. A miracle as so many others in the same price range were in such poor shape. Our offer just happened to be made on the anniversary date of the deceased parents of the children selling the home, and they took that as a good sign and sold it to us. The house did not have the second bathroom and dining room Richard wanted, but it did have a huge corner lot for Richard’s garden and they moved there in late 2018.

On Independence Day 2019, Richard was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer. He was hospitalized in Santa Rosa, and although it was thought he would be transferred to UC Davis, miraculously he was sent to UCSF. The only bed they had available there was in the pediatrics floor, and that was where Richard started on his journey with cancer. He was under the care of one of the pre-eminent physicians treating Pancreatic cancer, Dr. Margaret Tempero, as well as her amazing assistant, Nurse Anna Ong. Dr. Manasa Vulchi handled Richard’s second cycle of chemotherapy, under the direction of Dr. Tempero in Santa Rosa. We could not have asked for a more capable, compassionate and caring medical team, including dozens of wonderful, caring nurses. Richard endured over a month of hospitalization, while they worked on getting him stable enough to start chemotherapy.

Jim would like to extend his great love and appreciation for the Christy, Kirby, Nguyen and Tran families, for all the love and care they extended to Richard, their brother and uncle. Jim did not fully appreciate all they did during the first round of chemotherapy, when they made sure someone was always with Richard, when Jim was at work. The second round of chemotherapy was much, much harder, as only Jim was present to care for Richard, and Richard did not like to be an inconvenience to anyone, so he would not tell Jim when he should come home to care for him. Jim can not thank family and friends enough for being Richard’s guardians. Staying in contact with him to ensure he was doing OK during the shelter in place.

Richard is survived by his large, loving family, sisters Ngoc (Bien), Nhi, Girlie (Bill), Mary Ann and brothers Warren, John (Elaine) and Thanh, as well as his niece Mai and nephews Quan, and Phi. Richard was preceded in death by his brother William (Bill) Vincent Kirby. His entire family surrounded him during his eight days at home in hospice care, while many friends came to visit. I especially want to extend my thanks to Phi and his father Bien, both physicians, for the loving care they provided while Richard was home at hospice care.

Memorial Service

Opening Remembrance Jim Blaine

Visions of Richard, his Photography and Art Prepared by John & Elaine Kirby

Memories of Richard Shared by those present and memories sent by those unable to be present

Memorial Square Dance Called by Rich Reel

Lunch

Petaluma Mystery Mission Helen Putnam Plaza
Jim Blaine


Richard Edward Kirby (He never used his middle name, but I loved it) and I were members of the Oaktown 8's. In 2018 we were forced out of our San Leandro home, and moved to Petaluma in November of that year. Richard and I danced with other clubs, but Oaktown is the only IAGSDC club.

On Independence Day in 2019, Richard was diagnosed with cancer and he died from complications on March 7, 2021. Richard attended the Toronto and Palm Springs conventions. I hope to pin his badge to the memorial quilt in Minneapolis 2022. We were only together for just over six (6) years, married for not quite three (3). He was the love of my life.

Memorial service and square dance to be held September 11, 2021, in Petaluma, CA.
Jim Blaine


I met Richard on OK Cupid and that was the photo he posted. It was quite small on the website, and I thought he looked a bit like a petulant child. I changed my mind when I saw him. however, that photo is my favorite of him. I have no idea when he took it. We met 01/11/2015, so it was before that date. I know that it was taken in San Jose near his home at that time.

The photo on the poster was taken by my dear friend Tony Durante. He presided at our wedding and it is a photo from our wedding on 05/27/2018. The other photos are mine.
Jim Blaine

Memorial Panel

Photos